7 Worst tattoos of all time

People have been getting tattoos for a very long time. The earliest tattoo in recorded history belongs to "Otzi the Iceman," whose 5,000 year old body was found preserved in a glacier between Austria and Italy. They even make an appearance in the bible--leviticus (19:28) reads, "ye shall not make any cuttings on your flesh for the dead nor print any marks upon you."

In modern times, tattoos were typically relegated to sailors, soldiers, and members of the circus. However, in the past 50 years, tattoos have become more widespread and much more socially acceptable. Unfortunately, as more people get tattoos, the number of idiotic, ridiculously awful tattoos rises accordingly.

In 1936, Life Magazine reported that 6% of Americans had at least one tattoo. In 2006, according to the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, that figure rose to 24%. In 2007, The Pew Research Center found that 36% of Americans aged 18-25 had at least one tattoo. Now, I know there are dumb asses of all ages across this great country of ours. But 1 in 3 college age kids, a demographic widely known for its impulsive and sometimes moronic behavior, is inked up? No wonder we have tattoos like these (and no wonder that 17% of people who have a tattoo consider getting it removed):

• 1)     College; the precious 4 years when young people all over the world get the chance to grow and discover who they truly are. This freshman "discovered" the fact that he's a fucking douche bag

• 2) Really? Let me get this straight. You decided to get not just a Patrick Swayze tattoo, which would be pretty strange to begin with, but a tattoo of Patrick Swayze as a centaur? 

• 3) Congratulations, you just got your fucking eyeball tattooed. You know what they say: beauty is in the eye on the beholder...

• 4) You know these stay on your body forever, right? Seriously, tell me how you're going to explain to your grandchildren that you got Justin Beiber's visage tattooed on your thigh? (note, you can barely make out the leg hair on the left thigh, which would indicate that the recipient of this ingenious tattoo is a dude)

•  5) You must be on fucking crack to think this is even a remotely good idea.

•  6) Ahh yes, the famous Gucci Mane incident. In addition to being a terrible rapper, he's also a  mental defective who got an ice cream cone tattooed on his face. Now, in his defense, one of his catchphrases is "so icy, boy." But, to get a metaphorical representation of said catchphrase tattooed on your face is absolutely, unequivocally one of the stupidest fucking things I've ever seen in my entire life. No wonder he can't spell "Man" correctly. 

• 7)  I'm unsurprised that America ranks 17th overall in education. I'm also unsurprised that Americans have begun to get high off bath salts, ensuingly lapsing into dangerous psychotic episodes. We are a great nation. I firmly believe that. Yet, it deeply pains me to see that the freedom so many have sacrificed their lives for has been squandered on this: some guy getting a collage simultaneously commemorating his daughter, America, and Star Wars, tattooed on his dumb, chunky back.

Counterpoint:

However, I have great hope for this nation because of tattoos like these

I really, really, hope this is ironic. Either way, it's fucking amazing

'nuff said.

Once again, 'nuff said. Don't try to read into it. Just accept it.

Dick Cheney as Satan? fuck yes

 This takes the cake. The fact that there's some sardonic genius lurking around out there who came up with this leaves me awestruck. Would I want to have this on my body? Not really. But I definitely like it.